Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Happiness Can Be . . .

. . . having a friend say that they can't relate to what you are going through.

Let me explain.  I think that sometimes when I listen to a friend pour out her heart about whatever is going on in her life (kids, marriage, just plain life sucking), that I can have this tendency to be to quick to run a quick comparison of my own life (while listening, of course (ha!)), and as a result, too easily relate to the problems that she may be dealing with my own life experiences.

Granted as women, we tend to be helpers, it is how God wired us to be.  We want our friends to know that we have been there and that we "get" what they are going through, which don't get me wrong, is much needed, most of the time.  That being said, I have had friends share things that I don't get.  Horrible life experiences, that I have been spared thus far in my journey, things like miscarriage, marriages on the rocks, children with severe handicaps, and so on.  To them, I think beyond a listening ear, the best words I can give them are,

"I cannot relate to
what is going on in your life right now.
Tell me how to better understand." 

I heard those words last night from a friend, and it was a balm to my soul.  I am so glad that she can't relate, because I wouldn't wish what was discussed on anyone!!  But to hear those words was like a warm blanket of reassurance.  Even though she couldn't relate, she was invested enough in me, to want to hear about my journey.  And that was such a blessing.

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