Thursday, October 28, 2010

On Groaning and the Like

**Warning: This post got a wee bit religious!** Just letting you know, since I try to keep it light around here. {grin}

I am struggling right now with how to handle this latest rash of "baby-fits", as we fondly call them here at the castle. I know what they stem from, and I know what worked last time, but that is no guarantee of a solution for what today brings. I try to put myself in her place, but honestly, I can't. It makes me feel that somehow and on some level, I've failed as a parent with her. Why else is she unable to get completely dressed in the morning without a meltdown? The "I should have's" come creeping in when I try to evaluate where I took a wrong turn.

I need to have balance in my approach with her. Compassion for the temperament that God gave her, but also teach her that first time obedience is her job, regardless of how something "feels" or when the unexpected trip out inevitably comes up to mess with her plans. Tough calling to be sure. For both of us.

I wonder sometimes if I am the only one who daily gets to the point where my prayers become wordless. Wordless because there are no words. Wordless because I am tired of praying the same prayer. Wordless because saying the words out loud sound ugly and ungrateful. Romans 8:26 has held me upright this week, I like the EST version: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

I have been struck with the fact that my prayers for her are centered on how I want Him to change her, instead of me. So I have begun to change my prayers for her (and her sibs) to: Mold me into the mom she needs, shape me into a mom who is after Your own heart, and use me in her life for good. And He will. He promised.


Chelle said...

Oh Sarah, my sweet are so SO not the only one :-)

Castle Diaries said...

I love you too, my-belle. :)